The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice.
Peggy O’Mara
Dear Friends,
Happy Spring! We are currently having cold and wet weather, but we have faith that spring is coming. We look forward with hope for a better future, just like we hope for safety and family happiness when the blight of domestic abuse is over. Join us in praying for our nation to recognize the value of families that love and support each other, and also for those who help bring safety to them.
This month’s e-newsletter includes:
The Domestic Violence and Poverty Conundrum
The Cost of Intimate Partner Violence
Circle of Parents
Our Family Wizard
A Self-Care Idea
Book Review – Feathers of Hope
Save the Date: June 8th, 2023
Reminder – Refuse to Abuse, June 4th, 2023
Stop the Abuse, Heal the Family, Change the Future
Email: ccsf.hope@gmail.com
Website: https://www.ccsfhope.org
Twitter: @CCSFDV
The Domestic Violence and Poverty Conundrum
By L.K.
Families who experience domestic violence are often also victims of poverty. Think in terms of a vicious circle. “Research shows that a variety of factors may contribute to the poverty of women and children who have experienced domestic violence, including lack of affordable housing and lack of accessibility to legal assistance. Some of the most significant factors are barriers to employment.”*
The spouse who won’t let the wife work but down the road, she must support herself and the children. Her employment skills are rusty. Childcare costs are expensive. Housing is expensive. Legal assistance to get equitable child support is expensive. Factoring in healthcare costs could also complicate the fragile formula of finances. Access to quality education may be a factor.
Then there are the unseen, incalculable factors in the formula: poverty and domestic violence deplete a woman’s resilience and self-confidence. Unhealthy coping mechanisms may creep into the picture. Poverty and domestic violence often fracture, deplete, or destroy a woman’s family and social network. A family history of alcohol or drug addictions can enter into the equation. A family history of domestic violence can also contribute to the DV/poverty equation.
The cumulative effect of the above factors makes breaking the cycle of poverty and domestic violence hugely challenging. Sometimes a woman decides to return to the abuser because the challenges of the above are greater than she feels she can navigate. Is there an answer? When we meet a woman in these straits, we must do all we can, be as resourceful as we can possibly be, and quickly as we can offer her resources, opportunities, and emotional support.
*Domestic Violence and Poverty, Debra Satyanathan and Anna Pollack
The Cost of Intimate Partner Violence
Courtesy of Northwest Family Life, Facebook post, April 8th, 2023
- The cost of intimate partner violence exceeds $8.3 billion per year in the United States.
- Survivors of intimate partner violence lose a total of 8.0 million days of paid work each year.
- Between 21-60% of survivors of intimate partner violence lose their jobs due to reasons stemming from the abuse.
- Up to 50 percent of survivors of intimate partner violence who are employed are harassed at work by their abusive partners.
- Between 2012 and 2020, 142 women were murdered in their workplace by their abuser; 78% of women killed in the workplace during this time frame.
Circle of Parents
Parenting is hard. Don’t let anyone tell you it’s a cakewalk! Bringing up children in a fractious household is even harder. And being a “good” parent, i.e. a caring, responsible and intentional parent is even harder still. Never ever be afraid to ask for help. Truly there is a plethora of good resources available both locally and nationally.
Do you know about Circle of Parents? Circle of Parents‘® vision is a world where all caregivers have the knowledge, skills, and support to raise strong, resilient, and happy children. Currently the Circle of Parents national network represents a partnership of parent leaders and 20 statewide and regional organizations.
Circle of Parents® provides a friendly, supportive environment facilitated by trained facilitators, but led by parents and other caregivers. It’s a place where anyone in a parenting role can openly discuss the successes and challenges of raising children. It’s a place where they can find and share support.
Our Family Wizard
From OurFamilyWizard.com
Do you know about OurFamilyWizard? Accepted by courts in all 50 states, OurFamilyWizard is the leading co-parenting app among families living separately. It is a tamper-proof record that your data and communication records—from messages to expenses—can never be manipulated or altered. It features a shared co-parent calendar; it allows all communication between co-parents to be on the record. It is unalterable, securely stored, court admissible, viewable by attorneys and judge. It is time stamped when a message was received and read, creates a log-in history, alerts co-parents when their own responses to an email are escalating. It helps structure expenses, sets length parameters on emails to avoid lengthy nonproductive emails, and is an excellent way to set and maintain boundaries.
A Self-Care Idea
By K.W.
As Wynona Judd once said, “self-care is not selfish, it’s sacred”. So stepping into the sacred is for many an uplifting, life-giving form of self-care. One of our CCSF team recently attended a retreat based on the book Feathers of Hope, by Sharon Garlough Brown. At the retreat, the participants were offered an opportunity to express what they had gone through and then were guided toward forgiveness, resolution, and reclamation and honoring of their spirit. Our team member reminds us that we are not meant to walk our journeys alone. Sharing our sorrows with others in a safe and guided environment can be restorative as we are reminded that it is Jesus that makes all things new.
Book Review – Feathers of Hope
By K.W.
Feathers of Hope, by Sharon Garlough Brown, is a novella about two women who have been through significant loss. One is still processing, many years later, the crushing weight of grief. It is a compelling read about moving beyond unresolved issues in relationships that have been severed. To combat the pain of grief the book encourages us to rehearse truth. We are reminded that our identity is in God, and that nothing in our past, present, or future, has the power to separate us from God’s great and steadfast love. This book is recommended for those that have come out of trauma recently or many years ago. Our CCSF team member also suggests that friends and family members who have been a “companion in sorrow” and have walked this road will also benefit from this book.
Save the Date: June 8th, 2023
DV Services of Snohomish County 14th Annual Handbag Auction, June 8th, 2023, Angel of the Winds Arena. For more information contact Lauren Stiger at 425-259-2827, ext 1013 or lauren@dvs-snoco.org.
Reminder – Refuse to Abuse, June 4th, 2023
The Refuse To Abuse® 5K is a unique event that takes you around every level of T-Mobile Park, from the top of the players’ tunnel to the final lap around the field. Stepping out on the field level of a major league ball park is an awe-inspiring moment that few have experienced! Funds raised benefit the Washington State Coalition Against Domestic Violence and their statewide violence prevention and education work.
Refuse To Abuse® is a 27-year partnership between the Seattle Mariners and the Washington State Coalition Against Domestic Violence (WSCADV). With spokespeople that included Kyle Seager, Justus Sheffield, and Scott Servais, Refuse To Abuse® has reached millions of Mariners fans over the past 27 years with messages that promote healthy, respectful relationships.
©2023 Christian Coalition for Safe Families
Christian Coalition for Safe Families 