CCSF Newsletter August 2022

Not everything that is faced can be changed. But nothing can be changed until it is faced.
James Baldwin

Dear Friends,

As we know, we are in the midst of an economic and social downturn in our country. Many of the old things we used to count on are falling away. We believe this can cause challenges to the fabric of the family, possibly increasing conflict and the potential for abuse. Join us in prayer for families and let us be aware of chances to encourage and help others.

This month’s e-newsletter includes:

Why Teach about Domestic Abuse

Trauma Bonding

Important Takeaways from the Murder of Gabby Petito

Something to Think About

Missions Fest 2022

Working together for families.

Stop the Abuse, Heal the Family, Change the Future

Email: ccsf.hope@gmail.com

Website: https://www.ccsfhope.org

Twitter: @CCSFDV

Christian Coalition for Safe Families August 2022

Why Teach about Domestic Abuse

This is a good question. Therapists believe that telling the narrative of the trauma you have experienced is a great help towards healing. However, the signs, the description, and definition of terms are rarely considered in the counseling room. But intensive descriptions of traumatic events are encouraged and applauded as the highway to healing.

There are no formulas or special knowledge that facilitates recovery from abusive relationships. But anything that builds up the survivors, including providing them with necessary information, is something they direly need.

Here are the reasons for them, not in any particular order:

Shame is an integral part of the pattern of what a woman feels. Learning about shame, false guilt, and blame puts words to the very personal attacks that are part of abuse.
Learning what power and control relationships are all about
Acknowledgement of the reality the survivor has experienced becomes a part of the class support system
A very real understanding of safety: emotional, relational, physical and sexual
Amazing wonders happen when people learn to be real, truthful, and vulnerable
For survivors who have been isolated, connections with others who understand and empathize is an amazing blessing
Learning the principles of healthy relationships may never have been understood or appreciated

There are probably many additional reasons that could be added to this list. As you can see,building up survivors is the main purpose, and these reasons make it the only true road to healing.

Northwest Family Life offers classes in domestic violence, called DV 101. They are offered on an ongoing basis and are well-attended.

Trauma Bonding

The Bible tells us there is nothing new under the sun (Ecclesiastes 1:9). But sometimes there are new ways to present information, and understand things, and that can be helpful. Trauma Bonding is a relatively new catch phrase used to explain domestic/intimate partner/relational violence. It is a turn of phrase that for some people will give them clarity about what they, or someone they know, is going through.

Trauma bonding puts a new name to the phenomenon of wanting to hold on to a relationship that is abusive. Relationships involving incest, relationships with cult leaders, and Stockholm Syndrome share some elements of trauma bonding. The common denominator is violence against a person who trusts the abuser.

Domesticshelters.org has several articles about trauma bonding. These articles include the definition of trauma bonding, signs of trauma bonding and how to break the bond. There is also an excellent article entitled “Trauma-Related Guilt Is a Liar”. For more information, see Domesticshelters.org and search for articles about trauma bonding.

Important Takeaways from the Murder of Gabby Petito

Alliance for Hope International/Family Justice Centers recently published an article entitled Important Takeaways from the Murder of Gabby Petito. It is a copyrighted article that is available here. It is a must-read.

Something to Think About

The narrative must change from “If only I could get them to love me” to “I’m going to rescue the part of me who waits for love from those who don’t offer it.”
Nate Postlethwait, as seen on Northwest Family Life Facebook page, 7/31/22

Missions Fest

Missions Fest 2022 is an annual church sponsored event that exists to inform and excite Christians about what God is doing around the world. Missions Fest 2022 will include speakers, workshops, exhibitors, a pastors’ luncheon, children’s events, music, and food. Missions Fest will be November 4th and 5th at Westgate Chapel in Edmonds, WA. We’ll be there. Come check out our booth!