CCSF Newsletter July 2022

Our struggle is not one that lasts for one day, one week, a few months, or a few years.  It’s the struggle of a lifetime, of many lifetimes, if that’s what it takes to build a beloved community.

Congressman John Lewis

Dear Friends,

What we teach our children in our homes is important, to our children and to our communities and the world. Our job at CCSF is to give you encouragement, and information that will assist you with your clients, your friends, your family, and your communities. We are honored to join you in your efforts.

This month’s e-newsletter includes:

Survivors First

Grey Rape and Stealthing

Suicide and Domestic Violence

Stalking Legislation

What Matters Most

Working together to end violence.

Stop the Abuse, Heal the Family, Change the Future



Twitter: @CCSFDV

Christian Coalition for Safe Families July 2022

Survivors First

Do you know about Survivors First? Survivors FIRST (Facilitating Information and Resources for Survivors of Trauma) is a partnership between the YWCA and the King County Prosecuting Attorney. It directly connects survivor-defendants (victims of abuse who have been accused of a domestic violence-related crime) to intervention services without filing criminal charges. Survivors First focuses on underserved communities to identify and address the unmet needs of criminalized survivors.

By diverting survivors of color to culturally appropriate domestic violence and intimate partner violence services, this program helps reduce the racial disproportionality of survivors of gender-based violence in the criminal legal system.

YWCA provides to survivor-defendants including legal services, domestic violence advocacy, counseling, empowerment support groups, housing resources, and referrals for job readiness and financial education.

Grey Rape and Stealthing

Grey rape and stealthing are two new terms to be aware of. Stealthing describes the act of a male partner removing the condom before or during sex without getting consent from his partner. It’s also called non-consensual condom removal. Sometimes instead of just removing the condom, the abuser will purposefully damage the condom by poking holes in it, possibly while it’s still in the original packaging. Stealthing can be considered a form of reproductive coercion by either the male or female partner. Grey rape refers to a grey area where perpetrators claim victims have created circumstances where the consent is vague.

Suicide and Domestic Violence

In an article for, freelance writer Stephanie Thurrott explains that there is a strong link between domestic violence and suicide. She quotes the Partnership Against Domestic Violence report that women who are exposed to violence can have a risk of suicide up to 17 times higher than women who aren’t exposed.

According to the American Psychological Association, domestic violence survivors are twice as likely to attempt suicide more than once compared to people who don’t experience this type of violence. Thurrott’s article offers advice for women in a violent relationship who may be contemplating suicide.

CCSF notes that asking direct questions to our domestic violence clients about suicidal thoughts should become part of the intake and ongoing therapeutic support we provide.

Stalking Legislation

Did you know that RCW 9A.46.110, which addresses the crime of stalking, states specifically that the person being stalked must be placed in fear and feel fear. In other words, “the person being harassed or followed is placed in fear that the stalker intends to injure the person, another person, or property of the person or of another person. The feeling of fear must be one that a reasonable person in the same situation would experience under all the circumstances …”

Stalking can be alarming and life-disrupting. But not everyone feels fear. In time fear can turn to other emotions like frustration and anger. It is curious that the RCW places an emphasis on the reaction of the victim instead of the offender’s behavior.

As Jennifer Gatewood Owens said in A Gender-Biased Definition: Unintended Impacts of the Fear Requirement in Stalking Victimization, “Arguably, the fear requirement present in most states’ definitions of stalking is inherently gender-biased and should be removed, as no other type of crime is defined by an emotional response.”

For more information and to sign an online petition asking that the RCW should not include “placed in fear” see the Update Washington State’s Stalking Law petition at

What Matters Most

We join you in praying for a time when we can attend a parade or a festival safely, send our children to school and be assured of their safety, shop safely, sit in church safely, be in our homes safely, without malice or violence. How we treat each other on a daily basis matters greatly and it begins in our homes. How our children grow up and launch from home must be a matter of greatest importance. What we teach them in our homes must be deliberate and modeled, so that our future generations will have a sense of safety and security that our current generations are losing.

©2022 Christian Coalition for Safe Families

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