The world is in need of your help. There are feet to steady, hands to grasp, minds to encourage, hearts to inspire, and souls to save.
Thomas Monson
Dear Friends,
In light of the horrible tragedies in Texas this week the world looks much less safe. CCSF is about teaching people to grow and change. We can learn to watch and to be aware of our surroundings for safety reasons.
“I have a right to be safe” is a tenet of the Human Bill of Rights. As we go about our daily lives, let us be aware of those who wish to harm, and not be afraid to question and report anything that threatens that safety. Have a blessed and safe holiday weekend.
This month’s e-newsletter includes:
When all you can remember are the good times
Can you die from a broken heart?
Seven Keys to Resiliency
June is Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Awareness Month
Save the Date! Missions Fest Seattle 2022
Our hearts are broken for the victims, families, friends, and communities of Buffalo, New York, and Uvalde, Texas, and for those suffering from violence of all kinds, around the world. We continue in our efforts.
Stop the Abuse, Heal the Family, Change the Future
Email: ccsf.hope@gmail.com
Website: https://www.ccsfhope.org
Facebook: www.facebook.com/ChristianCoalitionforSafeFamilies
Twitter: @CCSFDV
Christian Coalition for Safe Families May 2022
When all you can remember are the good times
From Rhonda Ballance, Hyde County Helpline, NC
Over time DV survivors’ minds can block out some of the bad memories as a way to cope with trauma, sometimes leaving them questioning whether they made the right decision to leave. They may also feel regret or shame about the end of the relationship.
“It takes additional grieving to let go of the good,” states Susan Bernstein, a social worker, marriage and family therapist. But letting go of the good memories can be part of the process of healing and growth. “People will let go of some good memories as they age and understand what they survived and what they are recovering from,” Bernstein says. They come to understand how the abuser manipulated the happy times.
Survivors can also learn to reframe what they perceive as “good” because living with abuse can color that perception. If memories make you happy and aren’t causing you harm you might want to hang onto them. However, if you hold onto good memories, it’s important not to use them as a way to excuse the perpetrator. “Happy times can be savored. That doesn’t mean it excuses the victimization,” Bernstein says.
Here are some ideas for how you can put the good memories that no longer serve you in the past:
- Compose a mantra that helps to bring your thoughts to a more positive mindset. For example, telling yourself, “I was loved, but not in a way that was healthy for me.”
- Gently remind yourself that these memories don’t tell the whole story
- Maintain distance from the abuser. If you can’t avoid being around the abuser, because you share custody or visitation, keep your interactions brief and cordial.
- Practice mindfulness
- Don’t force it. Be patient with yourself.
- Create new happy memories
CCSF thoughts on the above article: We cannot deny the bad nor the good in our lives. They both happened. When most survivors entered a relationship, they did it for the right reasons, with lots of hope and a desire to love and be loved. That is natural; we were created for relationships. This part of us should not be dismissed. However, we are called to be clear sighted and understand our lives truthfully. It is through this grid of love, clear thinking, and hope that we will step into our futures.
Can you die from a broken heart?
From the Mayo Institute
Broken heart syndrome is a temporary heart condition that’s often brought on by stressful situations and extreme emotions. The condition can also be triggered by a serious physical illness or surgery. People with broken heart syndrome may have sudden chest pain or think they’re having a heart attack.
Broken heart syndrome affects just part of the heart, temporarily disrupting the heart’s usual pumping function. The rest of the heart continues to work properly or may even squeeze (contract) more forcefully.
The symptoms of broken heart syndrome are treatable. Broken heart syndrome usually reverses itself in days or weeks. Broken heart syndrome may also be called: Stress cardiomyopathy, Takotsubo cardiomyopathy, or Apical ballooning syndrome.
The symptoms for Broken Heart syndrome can mimic a heart attack and may include chest pain and shortness of breath. Any long-lasting or persistent chest pain could be a sign of a heart attack, so it’s important to take it seriously and call 911 or emergency services if you have chest pain.
If you’re having any chest pain, a very rapid or irregular heartbeat, or shortness of breath after a stressful event, call 911 or emergency medical assistance immediately.
CCSF also adds that if you are going through a stressful or very emotional time, even without specific symptoms, a check-up with your primary care doctor is always a good thing.
Seven Keys to Resiliency
From Hope Made Strong
1. Know who you are. God created you on purpose and for a purpose. Focus on the truth of who you are.
2. Meditation. Meditation decreases the body’s response to stress and improves resilience. Practice refocusing your mind and thoughts towards God.
3. Stay connected. We are created to be in relationship with each other and with God.
4. Self-care. Self-care or soul-care is part of the great commandment to love others as yourself. Think about how you would treat a friend and then do or say that to or for yourself.
5. Boundaries. Even Jesus would often say “no” to people and “yes” to spending time alone.
6. Rest. Slowing your schedule and having intentional times of rest is not only healthy, but it is also godly. Rest was so important that it became a part of the creation story.
7. Have fun. Do something that you enjoy, something that soothes your soul and makes you smile.
Reminder: June is Post Traumatic Stress Disorder month
Save the Date! Missions Fest Seattle 2022
Missions Fest Seattle is November 4th to 5th, 2022. See what Christ’s body of believers is doing locally and around the world. CCSF will be there! More information to come.
©2022 Christian Coalition for Safe Families
Christian Coalition for Safe Families 