It took me quite a long time to develop a voice, and now that I have it, I am not going to be silent.
Madeleine Albright
Dear Friends,
As Christ followers, we seek to understand the human condition and we also continue to be aware of underlying challenging patterns in homes and communities. We want to do our part in the effort to build wellness and supportive information into the family structure. The more we learn, the more our hearts will be turned towards safe families. That is our prayer.
This month’s e-newsletter includes:
When Victims Get Angry
The Legacy of Domestic Violence
Facebook Problems
Missions Fest Seattle
Lundy Bancroft Webinars
Please join our hearts’ cry for an end to violence in Ukraine.
Stop the Abuse, Heal the Family, Change the Future
Email: ccsf.hope@gmail.com
Website: https://www.ccsfhope.org
Facebook: www.facebook.com/ChristianCoalitionforSafeFamilies
Christian Coalition for Safe Families April 2022
When Victims Get Angry
“Your abusive partner doesn’t have a problem with his anger; he has a problem with your anger! One of the basic human rights [the abuser] takes away from you is the right to be angry with him. No matter how badly he treats you, he believes that your voice shouldn’t rise and your blood shouldn’t boil. The privilege of rage is reserved for him alone. When your anger does jump out of you – as will happen to any abused woman from time to time – he is likely to try to jam it back down your throat as quickly as he can. Then he uses your anger against you to prove what an irrational person you are. Abuse can make you feel straitjacketed. You may develop physical or emotional reactions to swallowing your anger, such as depression, nightmares, emotional numbing, or eating and sleeping problems, which your partner may use as an excuse to belittle you further or make you feel crazy.”
Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men, Lundy Bancroft, 2002
The Legacy of Domestic Violence
In an article from Urban Child Institute, Dr. Alice Callahan stated, “When children grow up witnessing domestic violence, they carry a lifelong burden. This early trauma may impact their development, emotional regulation, and mental health. But one of the saddest outcomes is that children who witness domestic violence grow up to have a greater risk of living in violent relationships themselves, whether as victims or as perpetrators. Without more awareness of this problem and help for these families, the burden of domestic violence will continue to be passed from one generation to the next.”
The reason for this is that scans of the brains of children who had either experienced or simply witnessed domestic violence, show those brains are strikingly similar to another group of individuals: combat veterans with battle-induced post-traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD. Multiple long-term studies indicate that kids who live with domestic violence, even as onlookers, retain these psychological scars long after leaving home, leading to a host of chronic mental health problems and long-term side effects.
More than five million children witness domestic violence every year in the United States. Dr. Sandra A. Graham-Bermann says, “They (children who have witnessed or experienced domestic violence) cannot connect the dots between what they experienced in their childhood homes and the challenges they face today.”
What are the long-term effects of witnessing violence during these formative years? The statistics are daunting. These children are: 50 % more likely than their peers to develop substance abuse issues; nearly 75% more likely to commit a violent crime; three times as likely to become perpetrators of domestic violence; live shorter lives than their peers, by 7 to 10 years; struggle with low self-esteem, PTSD, learning difficulties, lower IQ, attention disorders, memory problems, and problems forming relationships.
An article from the Office of Women’s Health (OASH) states that “Children who witness or are victims of emotional, physical, or sexual abuse are at higher risk for health problems as adults. These can include mental health conditions, such as depression and anxiety. They may also include diabetes, obesity, heart disease, poor self-esteem, and other problems.”
The organization Childhood Domestic Violence informs us that the impact can be lifelong in terms of physical and mental health problems, such as anxiety, depression, and traumatic stress, difficulty in relationships with others, academic and employment failures, and trouble parenting.
The good news is that the brain can unlearn what was learned in childhood, and each LIE has a corresponding transformative TRUTH.
Facebook Problems
Does anyone have experience creating a new Facebook/Meta business account without losing the content of the (old) gray account? Or do you know someone who does?
We have reached out to Facebook as their online help is not working, but would like to connect with a tech-savvy person to help us through this before our page is disabled. We’ve been told it will be disabled in May. Please contact us if you can help, ccsf.hope@gmail.com. Thank you.
Missions Fest Seattle
Save the date! Missions Fest Seattle, November 4th and 5th, 2022. See what Christ’s body of believers is doing locally and around the world. CCSF will be there! More information to come.
Lundy Bancroft Webinars
Join Lundy Bancroft for two informative sessions on May 12th, 2022:
Session #1 (90 minutes)
Why Does He Do That?: The Profile and Tactics of Men Who Abuse Women
Session #2 (90 minutes)
Healing and Recovery in Children Exposed to Domestic Violence
©2022 Christian Coalition for Safe Families
Christian Coalition for Safe Families 