CCSF Newsletter March 2022

Hope is the single most important predictor of long-term outcomes in the lives of survivors… In every published study of hope, every single one, hope is the single best predictor of well-being compared to any other measures of trauma recovery.

Hope Rising: How the Science of HOPE Can Change Your Life, C. Gwinn and C. Hellman

Dear Friends,

We are in the spring of the year, and with spring we think of hope and new beginnings. Victimhood to victor. Our newsletter this month is about hope and support for families and individuals who may be struggling with abusive relationships. Resources and skills for staying safe are our subjects. We know helping others is God’s plan as we tackle unexpected and damaging behaviors. Happy spring!  

This month’s e-newsletter includes:

Alliance for HOPE International

Detached Contact, Emotional Detachment and Grey Rocking


     Domestic Violence 101

     No Homeless Kids  Benefit Luncheon

     Refuse to Abuse 

     April is National Child Abuse Prevention Month

May grace, mercy and loving-kindness prevail.

Stop the Abuse, Heal the Family, Change the Future




Christian Coalition for Safe Families March 2022

Alliance for HOPE International

Do you know about:

Alliance for HOPE International is one of the leading systems and social change organizations in the country. It is focused on creating innovative, collaborative, trauma-informed, hope-centered approaches to meeting the needs of survivors of domestic violence, sexual assault, child abuse, elder abuse, and human trafficking.

Alliance for HOPE International and Family Justice Centers serve more than 150,000 survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault and their children each year in the United States. The Alliance supports Family Justice/Multi-Agency Centers in 40 states (including one in Tacoma, Washington) and 25 countries, and trains more than 10,000 multidisciplinary professionals every year.

Detached Contact, Emotional Detachment, and Grey Rocking

In an abusive relationship or in shared custody or divorce, sometimes not having contact with the abuser is just not possible.

Detached Contact Many domestic violence victims do not have the ability to go “no contact” for various reasons. So how does one live with/get through the incredible difficulty of facing one’s abuser regularly? Shannon Thomas, a Christian trauma therapist and author, refers to “Detached Contact” when “no contact isn’t an option.”

She explains that “detached contact is an ever-moving target of maintaining emotional detachment and self-control so the survivor is not easily swayed, manipulated, or provoked by the abuse… it is not a static state of interacting with a toxic person. It’s not a place in the relationship a survivor “arrives” to and then it holds steady.” She assures that ”Detached Contact is not easy, but can lead to healing and freedom.”

Emotional Detachment “When your spouse takes an ugly turn into consistent abuse and other controlling behaviors, attaching your self-worth to how they treat you and placing all your effort into them and the relationship guarantees exploitation and self-destruction”, states Dr. Tara J. Palmatier. She offers detachment techniques:

1) Make yourself solely responsible for your own well-being and happiness

2) Accept that you can’t fix, change, rescue, save, make someone else happy, or love someone enough to make them be nice to you

3) Eliminate the hooks of your abuser

4) Learn to control your body language

5) Lower your expectations of the abusive person

6) Do something that removes you from the abuse and centers you

7) See the big picture and don’t get distracted by their minutiae

In this excellent article, Dr. Palmatier concludes that abusive behaviors “have no soul and they will destroy your soul if you let them.”

Grey Rocking is a similar concept. CCSF offered an article on Grey Rocking in our May 2021 newsletter.

Domestic Violence 101

This is a support group at Northwest Family Life. Led by licensed therapist and trauma specialist Carol, the group is an introduction to domestic violence. This group offers insight and support for women who have experienced abusive relationships. After the ongoing six-week introduction, you are invited to join other ongoing support groups. All are free, supported by grants.

No Homeless Kids Benefit Luncheon

Tuesday, May 3rd, 12 to 1 P.M., Meydenbauer Center, Bellevue. Special Guest Speaker, Dr. Gregory Jantz, Ph.D. Register here.

Refuse To Abuse

Saturday, July 9, at 9 A.M. at T Mobile Park. Time to register for the 11th Annual 5K run/walk. It really is fun! Perhaps you will see some of us there again this year! Sponsored by the Washington State Coalition Against Domestic Violence.

April is National Child Abuse Prevention Month

Blue pinwheels are the recognized national symbol for Child Abuse Prevention.

©2022 Christian Coalition for Safe Families

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