CCSF Newsletter May 2021

We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as impossible situations.

Charles R. Swindoll

Dear Friends,

(From Lani K.) Once again, I dragged my feet and mentally fought against something I needed to do. I ignored how God had lifted me up in previous similar situations. But I did it anyway, despite my feelings of anxiety and dread. And once again, God blessed my socks off. We so often forget that we don’t have to do things on our own power, courage or intellect. God is right there with us, providing all we need to get through life’s challenges. Call on God, turn the challenges of your day over to Him, and you will see that things turn out ever so much better than you feared they would.

Here are more topics that might help you get through some challenges you are facing.

This month’s e-newsletter includes:

Former Spice Girl Mel B

College Hunks

Housing Highlights

Sexual Violence & People with IDD

Grey Rocking

Wishing you the pleasures of the season! And wishing you courage and successes that only God can give!

Stop the Abuse, Heal the Family, Change the Future

Email:  ccsf.hope@gmail.com

Website:  https://www.ccsfhope.org

Facebook:  www.facebook.com/ChristianCoalitionforSafeFamilies


Christian Coalition for Safe Families May 2021

Former Spice Girl Mel B

Former Spice Girl and America’s Got Talent judge, Mel B stars in a short but powerful video, Love Should Not Hurt. With original musical score by Fabio D’Andrea and directed by Fabio D’Andrea, this graphic and nuanced video depicts the control and duplicity of an abuser and the desperation of his victim.

College Hunks

College HUNKS Hauling Junk & Moving® has nationwide locations in the United States and Canada. Their services include local moving and long distance moving, junk removal, packing and unpacking, hourly moving and general labor, and donation pickups and drop-offs.

In April 2020 College HUNKS announced an initiative to help domestic violence victims move at no cost. By the year’s end, through coordination with shelters and social workers, they assisted more than 100 victims. College HUNKS Hauling Junk & Moving was so inspired by the people they helped during the pandemic that they will continue this mission to be a “champion of domestic violence survivors”, even after lock downs are lifted.

College HUNKS announced they will continue to work with local shelters to provide DV survivors in need, and will provide free moves during Domestic Violence Awareness month (October). For College HUNKS services for domestic violence survivors in our area, contact the DAWN 24-Hour Crisis Line, 425-656-7867 or 253-893-1600.

Housing Highlights

By Ofa and Carol L.

Northwest Family Life mentors a housing program called Penny’s Place. It is a therapeutic transitional safe house where women and their children fleeing domestic violence and/or trafficking can come and live in supportive community.

Their mission is to provide physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual support that allows for good mental health for women and their children transitioning out of domestic violence and/or trafficking. There is space for up to eight women and children to live in an intentionally small home-like environment.

Most women and children come in with little or no support and finding resources when in crisis can be utterly overwhelming. Their team helps people with the process of finding physical and emotional safety, permanent housing, job training, and educational opportunities. They are encouraged and supported as they begin to build a community of support within and outside of the walls at Penny’s Place.

Domestic violence does not discriminate among race, religion, or ethnicity. They serve people from diverse backgrounds, all of extremely low socioeconomic status, and usually all homeless. In the last few years Penny’s Place has been home to Samoan, Tongan, Filipino, New Zealander, Native American, African American, Caucasian and Latino women, and their children.

Their goal for each woman is that when she leaves, she will be in a place, physically and emotionally, to transition into autonomous living and be self-sustaining, clean and sober, safe from abuse and exploitation, healthy, and with community.

If you would like to hear more about Penny’s Place, please email hope@nwfamilylife.org or phone 206-363-9601.

Sexual Violence & People with IDD (Intellectual and/or developmental disabilities)

Did you know that people with disabilities are target for violence at rates 2.5 times (adults), 4 times (children) higher than people without disabilities? Did you know that up to 80 percent of women and 30 percent of men with DD have experienced sexual violence? At least 50 percent of people with intellectual disabilities have been victimized sexually. And it is common for people with IDD to have experienced multiple victimizations throughout their lives. Most incidences of such violence go unreported and of those that are reported, very few offenders are held accountable.

The entire article is available at the Pennsylvania Coalition Against Rape website.

Grey Rocking

From The Benefits and Dangers of Grey Rocking by Amanda Kippert at DomesticShelters.org

A grey rock is motionless, silent, blending in with the background. So it’s a great metaphor for how to go about avoiding your partner. “This strategy involves becoming the most boring and uninteresting person you can be when interacting with a manipulative person,“ says therapist Ellen Biros, MS, LCSW in an interview with healthline.com. Because abusers are often looking for a reaction, by not giving them one, they’re going to [hopefully] realize that you’re not their ideal target. It should be noted this is mainly a tactic to use with partners who utilize verbal, emotional and psychological abuse. If you’re experiencing physical abuse, shutting down is likely not going to stop violence.

Grey rocking is also effective after you leave an abusive partner and they attempt to reach out to you, either to harass and berate you for your choice, to threaten you if you don’t change your mind, or to try and woo you back with supposed kindness or romance. A non-response is the best response. For survivors who share children with an abuser and are forced to continue interacting with that ex, flat, emotionless and calm responses to the abuser’s provocation attempts will likely be the best way to shut that down.

However, there are dangers to the grey rock method. Darlene Lancer, LMFT tells Psychology Today that abusers may “up the ante to elicit a response from you to regain control and reassure themselves that you have feelings for them.”

Grey rocking is obviously a short-term solution. For a time, it may keep you from being the target of more abuse.

The entire article is available at DomesticShelters.org.

(As well, Carol reminds us that such a situation is where working with a domestic violence counselor shines.)


©2021 Christian Coalition for Safe Families

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